Separating is rarely linear, and it's almost never tidy. This is the practical checklist we wish more people had on day one — what to set up, who to call, and the order that usually makes life easier.
Safety first
If you or your children are in danger, your safety comes before any of the admin below.
- Triple Zero (000) in immediate danger
- 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) — 24/7 family violence support
- Safe Steps (Vic) 1800 015 188, DV Connect (Qld) 1800 811 811
- Escaping Violence Payment — up to $5,000 financial assistance
- Ask Izzy — find emergency accommodation near you
If it's safe, gather IDs, key documents, medications and a small bag in advance.
Money and banking
- Open your own bank account in your name only.
- Redirect your wage / Centrelink payments into it.
- Get your own credit card (small limit is fine — it's about access to credit).
- Pull your free credit report (Equifax, Experian, illion).
- Cancel or change passwords on any joint subscriptions.
Centrelink
- Set up your own myGov account.
- Link Centrelink to it.
- Update your relationship status — you can be assessed as single from the date of separation, even if you still legally live together.
- Apply for Parenting Payment, Family Tax Benefit, Rent Assistance and any other payment you may be entitled to.
- Apply for a Child Support Assessment if you have children.
Housing
- Know your name on the lease or mortgage.
- If renting, contact your state tenancy authority about your options.
- If you need to find new accommodation, talk to community housing providers as well as private rentals.
- Ask Centrelink about Rent Assistance.
Children
- Don't make sudden changes to school, child care or routines if you can avoid it.
- Tell the school both parents need to be on the contacts list and receive communications.
- Talk to a Family Relationship Centre about a parenting plan (free mediation).
- Use a calendar or app like Bloom to log nights and changeovers from day one — it removes a huge amount of "he said, she said" later.
Legal
- Get advice from Legal Aid in your state, or a Community Legal Centre, before signing anything.
- Find out about property settlement timeframes — under the Family Law Act, you generally have 12 months from divorce or 2 years from a de facto separation to start property proceedings.
- Don't move out of the family home without legal advice if there's a property settlement to come — your rights may be unaffected, but get advice first.
Identity, accounts and admin
- Change passwords on email, phone, social, banking, myGov, ATO.
- Set up two-factor authentication on everything important.
- Remove your ex from emergency contacts at work, school and medical.
- Update your will and any superannuation beneficiary nominations.
- Update your Medicare and private health cover.
Mental health and support
- Talk to your GP about a Mental Health Treatment Plan (10 rebated sessions a year).
- Lifeline 13 11 14, Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636.
- MensLine 1300 78 99 78 for men.
- PANDA 1300 726 306 for parents with young kids.
- 1800 RESPECT for anyone who has experienced family violence.
- Peer support: Dads in Distress, Parents Beyond Breakup, single parent meetup groups.
Practical day-to-day
- Write down everything in one place (even an exercise book is fine).
- Keep originals of important documents — birth certificates, marriage certificate, kids' passports.
- Take photos of valuables and shared items as a record.
- Take care of basics: sleep, food, water, sunlight, contact with one safe person.
How Bloom helps after separation
Bloom is built for exactly this season of life. Once the dust starts to settle, it's a calm place for:
- Custody schedules and changeovers
- School and medical appointments
- Mood and energy tracking, so you can see patterns over time
- Important documents and key info you don't want to lose
It's not legal advice, and it won't talk to Centrelink for you — but it can stop your phone, notebook, calendar and head from each holding a different version of the truth.