Good co-parenting record keeping is boring on purpose. It's the quiet habit that protects you if things ever go sideways — a Change of Assessment, a parenting dispute, a court hearing, a Centrelink review — and the daily tool that takes the emotional charge out of "did that actually happen?" conversations.
This guide covers what to record, how to record it, and the principles that make a record actually useful instead of a shoebox of receipts.
Why bother keeping records?
- Care percentages. Services Australia (Child Support) calculates payments based on the percentage of nights each parent has the children. A reliable nightly log beats memory every time.
- Family Tax Benefit. FTB Part A is also based on care percentages. Wrong percentages cause debts.
- Disputes. If you ever need to raise a concern — missed handovers, changed plans, behaviour — contemporaneous notes carry more weight than reconstructed ones.
- Court. Parenting matters in the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia rely heavily on documentary evidence. Notes made at the time are far more credible than notes made later.
- Your own sanity. Memory under stress is unreliable. A record lets you stop carrying everything in your head.
What to actually record
Parenting time Every night the children spent in your care, every handover (time, place, who collected). If a scheduled night didn't happen, record what happened instead.
Communication Keep messages with your co-parent in writing — text, email, or a co-parenting app. Voice calls and in-person conversations should get a quick written summary at the time ("3pm phone call, agreed pickup moved to 5pm Friday").
Expenses Date, amount, what it was for, which child. Keep receipts where possible. Distinguish between everyday costs and "extras" (school fees, medical, activities) — these are treated differently if you ever apply for a Change of Assessment.
Incidents and concerns Anything that worries you — a child returning distressed, a missed medication, a safety concern. Stick to facts: what was said, what you observed, time and date. Avoid editorial.
Medical, school and milestones Appointments attended, medication given, school events, report cards, behaviour notes from teachers.
Principles of a record that holds up
Write it down at the time "Contemporaneous" is the word lawyers use. A note made the same day is worth ten made a month later.
Stick to facts Describe what happened, who was there, what was said. Avoid characterisations like "he was being manipulative". Let the facts speak.
Be consistent Patchy records — three weeks of detail then nothing — look defensive. A boring, consistent log is more credible than dramatic, occasional entries.
Don't edit If you make a mistake, add a correction with a new timestamp rather than rewriting. Edited records lose evidential weight.
Keep it private Don't share your record with the children or post about it publicly. It's for you, your lawyer if needed, and decision-makers.
What NOT to do
- Don't record audio or video of the other parent without consent — recording laws vary by state and illegally obtained evidence can be excluded.
- Don't keep notes only when you're upset. A record that only contains complaints reads as a campaign.
- Don't use the children as messengers or sources of information for your record.
- Don't post any of it on social media. Ever.
Tools you can use
You don't need an app. A dated notebook, a spreadsheet, or a folder of emails to yourself all work. What matters is consistency and the timestamp.
Apps make it easier: - A shared calendar for handovers - A messaging app with a fixed history (don't use a platform that auto-deletes) - A dedicated co-parenting app for nights, expenses and communication in one place
Bloom is built specifically for this — a private record of nights, expenses, communication and incidents, with your data staying yours. You can use it whether your co-parent is involved or not.
How long to keep records
Indefinitely while the children are minors. Centrelink and Child Support reviews can look back years, and family law matters can resurface long after they seemed settled.
A simple starting routine
1. End of every day: tick which parent had the kids overnight. 2. Any communication with your co-parent that day: save the message or note the call. 3. Any expense: photo the receipt, log the amount and category. 4. Anything unusual: 2–3 lines of facts before bed.
Five minutes a day. That's the whole system.